"Always on my mind"

So wow, my 3rd post in a day. Scared, worried, anxious, lonely, tired, hungry, angry? Dont know but all I do from the moment I wake up til my brain shuts off at night, when thats possible, is pray, plead, negotiate, cuss, scream, wish and bargain with whoever "God" is. When I do sleep and when I dream, they are really confusing. I could be one place doing something and then bam, I'm in another and there's my sissy. Alot of them are when we were young and I can picture it so vividly when Im awake. Then the nightmares, fucking NIGHTMARES. I wont get into that cuz I really dont want to remember them. So much, so little time.. To be cont'd, gotta run out.